im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
