Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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