Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
