why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
