kristin has been a bad kristin
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
