Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
