We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
