I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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