How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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