Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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