got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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