I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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