I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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