just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Bring me that man meat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
