When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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