She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
