Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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