Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
