happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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