i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
