So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
ttyl tear gas
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
