Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
