found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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