So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
