Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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