if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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