You smell like a Billy Joel song
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Houston, we have a blender
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
