Dual....:-)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
