Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize