im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
