I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
