Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
