Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
