O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
