my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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