Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sarcasm needs its own font
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
