i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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