I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
