upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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