Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
