No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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