So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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