Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
