so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
