her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
