Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do herpes really smell.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
