you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize