Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
