Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
