@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
