I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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