I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
