Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
