The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
