I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
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