dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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