hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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