Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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