she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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