Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
