she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
