I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
