Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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