Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
