im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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